(What a Silly Question)
Of course I'm going to take a nap every chance I get. The issue is I rarely get that chance because of outside influences. I guess it pays to be hard of hearing like someone I won't name (David).
Isn't it funny how things change? As kids we'll do anything to get out of taking a nap. My mom used to tell me a story of when I was in first grade. I would make up stories to tell the teacher to get out of napping. What a fool I was.
Yes, dear readers, I said first grade. When I was a first grader, about a hundred years ago, give or take a few dozen, we napped, played with clay, and tried unsuccessfully to stay in the lines while coloring pictures that had a unique smell from being freshly printed off the mimeograph machine. We spent time on the playground falling off the top of the metal (sometimes very hot) slide (I was pushed but I could never prove it), getting dizzy on the Maypole swing or tearing holes in our clothes from falling while chasing each other. All of these activities are pretty much banned nowadays. Wouldn't want little Jane or Johnny get their feelings hurt, now would we?
First graders these days are expected to learn to read, write complete sentences, do math, learn social skills i.e. don't push someone off the top of the 20- foot tall metal slide, etc. We ate paste. (I may have exaggerated the height of the slide a little bit but when you're only about four foot tall, it certainly looked that high.)
Where was I?
Oh, yeah. Naps.
Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, “Debi, you and David are retired. You've got all day to nap if you want to.” You'd think so, wouldn't you? Ah, but were that true.
Every day around two or three p.m. David will go into the bedroom for his daily nap; a habit he picked up from years of working in South America where they have napping down to a fine art. Why do they nap every afternoon, you ask? Because it's freaking HOT, that's why. Those South Americans have the right idea. Get up early, work until lunch time, take a nap during the hottest part of the day then get back to work. We North Americans could learn a lot from the Latin culture. They've got it right.
Anyway, sometimes when he naps, I'll lean my recliner all the way back, turn on my living room noise maker, snuggle under my lap quilt, cover my eyes and RING!
Those darn telemarketers will start in. I swear most of them get together in whatever country and cave telemarketers dwell in and pick a day of the week to be the most annoying. Ninety-five percent of the time, they don't leave a message because they're computers.
I have tried blocking them on my landline* (yes, I still have a landline) as they come in but my phone will only block about 250 numbers before it fills up and I'm too lazy to delete the oldest numbers and start over
İ used to answer when they'd call, back before they learned how to program their computers to be a nuisance so they can annoy more people in less time. The most fun ones were the people who were not from this country and English was obviously not their second language or their third or fourth. You know the ones I'm talking about.
They'd claim your computer was infested with viruses and needed your password, credit card, social security number, bank account information and the name of your first born in order to “fix” your problem. A problem that, until they so thoughtfully pointed it out, you were blissfully unaware of.
Between the annoying fake phone calls, our ever vigilant but half-blind “guard” dog barking at absolutely nothing and my alarm clock going off to remind me it's time to take my meds, taking a nap just doesn't seem to be in the cards for me.
So, to Nap or Not to Nap is not the question. The question is, will the dang telemarketers leave me alone long enough to grab a quick nap? Will our dog keep her yap shut? Will the delivery people decide this is the ideal time to deliver that package I ordered a month ago? These and other compelling questions linger in the back of my mind as I mentally threaten all of them within an inch of their lives if they don't LEAVE ME ALONE.
*I know I'm a dinosaur. Just ask my two kids, two kids-in-law, 14 grandkids and two great-grandkids. Old habits die hard and I'm not ready to turn them loose just yet.