I Hate Shopping

Besides June, this time of year appears to be a very popular time to get hitched. Our no-so-little anymore grandniece is getting married in a few weeks and boy am I on pins and needles. Being her favorite great-aunt (LOL), you'd think I'd have been assigned more to do than just showing up. It's probably for the best since I don't work well under pressure.

What's the problem then, you ask? Well, I'll tell ya. To get ready for this wonderful event I'll be forced to go shopping whether I want to or not. I don't. I really, really don't. Especially in this heat. I do only slightly better when it finally cools off in the Fall.

I had put shopping off as long as I possibly could so off to the big city David, and I ventured to see if I could find something–anything–fit to wear to a wedding. Since I haven't done any real shopping for months and I've gained a few pounds (which I'm blaming on my cancer treatments) since the last wedding we attended, I barely have anything in my closet I can squeeze into, and I sure don't have anything wedding worthy.

At my current size, everything looks like a tent. A multi-room tent. Our town had several nice shops that would have been satisfactory, but they've since closed so now I'm stuck either hauling myself to a shop far away or employing the Internet.

I need everything–a dress, shoes, pants, tops, under clothes. You name it, I need it. That's what happens when the only shopping I do is at the big box store mostly for groceries (I heard that). We rarely venture out of town and never shop 'just because if I can help it. I tend to do a lot of spuddling around and I am easily distracted by all the gimcrackery offered at the big box and discount clothing stores. I also get high anxiety in crowds.

David and I girded our loins (Sounds painful, doesn't it?) and took off early on a Friday morning to the nearest mall that is nearly an hour away. Even in the middle of the night, it's only slightly cooler which makes me miserable. Unfortunately, the narrowminded mall owners refuse to open late at night for us shopping and weather lightweights.

We perused the slim pickings at two of the more popular mall 'anchor' stores. It was slim pickings because I'm always late to the sales parties and get stuck looking at the leftovers, none of which would even come close to fitting my rather generous girth. I must have lapped the ladies' departments a dozen times before I managed to find a nice pair of slacks and a couple of blouses. Mumbling expletives under my breath for the sad state of the inventory in the store and at home didn't help my cause. I paid for my selections and scurried out.

By now it was lunchtime, and I was famished so we headed to a nearby steakhouse. I squeezed into the booth and my feet rejoiced at the respite. Are they making these booths smaller or is it just me? I must have sucked down three glasses of iced cold sweet tea. After lunch, I decided I'd had enough shopping for one day and we headed back home in time to take a nap and then head to the rodeo that evening. It was still HOT.

As usual, I felt terribly out of place. I was dressed for the heat in capris, a light Tshirt, a wide-brimmed hat, and sandals. Everyone else had on their Wranglers, cowboy shirts, belts with buckles big enough to be seen from outer space, boots, and cowboy hats looking like they were ready to hop into the ring if any of the contestants needed help taking down that poor baby calf. All I could think of was 'How are they not burning up?'

The next day, I decided to take advantage of the easy return policy of my favorite online shopping site and ordered a few items to try on before I pay for them. I'm not good at guessing my current size and I don't have the nerve to use a tape measure to get a more accurate size. P.S. I sent everything back. Those models really should be truer to (my) size.

On a note to myself: Don't let the volunteers working the parking lot at the rodeo guide us to the front of the parking field which is all dirt and rocks and dust. LOTS of dust. It was wonderful being that close to the gate, so we didn't have to walk very far. Unfortunately, having arrived early to beat the traffic it ended up costing us 45 minutes trying to leave.