Life's a Funny Thing

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It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed with cancer. I'm doing great, all things considered. I don't feel any different than I did BC (before cancer). Some days, I think it's all a gag and I'll wake up to no more treatments, although they're not bad–just time-consuming.

My calendar used to be filled with sporting events involving grandkids. Now it's doctor appointments and treatments.

I think I've expected this all my life because, on both sides of my family, cancer has been rampant. On the other hand, I also am very good at passing off what turned out to be warning signs as something to expect when we reach a certain age. In other words–denial.

I wonder why they can't make the tests required for diagnoses to be simpler and not so nausea-inducing? And scary. Those giant machines are amazing but frightening. It's a good thing I don't have a bad case of claustrophobia. Okay, I'll admit to having a mild case, but if I close my eyes and pretend I'm taking a nap, I get through it fine. The main thing is to remember not to wear my underwire bra on scan days. That'd put a kink in the technician's colon. LOL

Life's such a funny thing. When we're young the days last forever and we are convinced that nothing bad will ever happen. We delight in the little things like butterflies, horned toads, and splashing in a puddle after a rainstorm. A new toy can make our week. A hug makes us smile. We long remember the smells and sounds of our childhood but too soon . . .

We get a little older. The days seem to get shorter but we still find pleasure in small things like Friday night football games, teen hops, slumber parties, and swimming in a lake. We can make the most of our time, convinced we're invincible and this wonderful life will last forever even after we're out of school, and homework no longer consumes us. Then comes . . .

The years when we're no longer high schoolers but not quite adults. We dip our toes in this thing called life, trying to figure out how to navigate a world that, until now, had been so simple, so tranquil. We didn't realize that our parents had so many responsibilities until we found some of our own. Now it is up to us to make our own decisions, good or bad, and deal with the consequences. We almost long to be back in school where our most important task was making good grades and keeping out of trouble, but nothing lasts forever, so...

Adulthood rears its ugly head. Why didn't anyone warns us how hard adulthood is? My theory is this: There's an unwritten code that once a person reaches adulthood, they are not allowed to let any person younger than 29 in on the secret of how to navigate life after 30.

Why, oh, why don't they teach us the life lessons we need while we're still in high school or college? We don't need to learn about liberal arts or how to dissect a frog. What we need to know is how to balance a checkbook, invest in the stock market without losing our shirt or how to buy the best fruit and vegetables at the supermarket. You know – real-life skills.

Nobody ever taught us how to deal with tragedy or how to handle little disappointments. One by one we lose friends, family members whom we thought would be here for us forever, even siblings. How do we deal with grief? How do we go on? And what if it's happening to you?

I prefer to focus on the positive (told ya I was good at denial) and live each day the best way I can. Like I said, I'm doing well, ignoring any minor aches and pains and being my usual lazy self.

The grandkids keep me focused on other things like marathon card games with our granddaughters and endless Candyland and Chutes & Ladders tournaments with our three-year-old grandson and his brothers. The granddaughters are learning to make macrame plant hangers, with a little help from someone who hasn't done macrame in over 40 years, but we're having a blast.

Other than my appointments twice a month, I'm living the same way I did before BC and the pandemic. My only real concession to that is wearing a mask when I go out, mostly for my own peace of mind.

I refuse to give up or give in so I expect next year to be much the same as I look forward to more adventures with my 14 grandkids and two great-grandsons.

Life is a funny thing.

ddharris71@hotmail.com