This staying at home stuff is getting to me. It's gotten so bad that if I, the Queen of the Couch Potatoes, have to choose between getting out of my nice comfy nightgown, pajama pants and robe or going to the store, I'll just stay home. It doesn't seem worth the effort. The good part of this whole ordeal is, since we are having trouble finding a grocery store without a line, I have an excellent excuse for not cooking. I've never been fond of cooking so I'd rather order our supper online and pick it up without getting out of the car or getting dressed. This is not something I would have dreamed of doing a few short months ago, but hey, things change. You gotta go with the flow, I always say, but only to myself; David finds it annoying.
We're so bored, David and I decided to make a few stabs at leaving the house hoping to score a few of the elusive necessities of life (Dr. Pepper being first and foremost). Armed with our shopping list, mask, and gloves, we entered the parking lot, espied the already mile-long line of fellow hunters wrapping themselves around the building, turned around and headed back home. I guess we'll have to survive another day on egg sandwiches supplied by my sister and brother-in-law – the eggs, not the sandwiches LOL.
The full parking lot and throngs of people waiting to get in the store reminded me of Black Friday but with longer lines. Instead of fighting over bargain-priced televisions and gaming systems, there's a mad rush for the last package of toilet paper, carton of eggs, a jug of milk or paper towels.
We decided that we were going to have to suck it up, no matter how long the line, and venture back out to the big box store since we were getting pretty low on supplies (Dr. Pepper) and I was getting a little cranky – not that I'd admit it. That's the only way I get my caffeine fix and not bite off David's head so off we went hoping for a short line.
Miracle of miracles, there was NO line when we arrived before nine a.m. What luck! I had been convinced that we'd never get in, so I wasn't prepared. I wasn't wearing the standard drawstring pants and t-shirt that seems to be the norm for this particular store. We were wearing jeans and nice tops. I surprised the poor employee manning the door allowed us in. One of the interesting reasons to go to this particular store is to 'people' watch. I often wonder if some of these people own a mirror and who let them out of the house dressed like that? Even the big box stores have their standards and when I find out what they are, I'll let y'all know.
Once inside I realized I had no idea what we needed. Apparently, I had either left the list in the car or on the kitchen counter. Now that we were inside for the first time in weeks, there was no going back. While the basic necessities seem to stay scarce, I noticed that semi-fresh vegetables and fruits seem to be in abundance as opposed to the canned options.
We spent the next 30 minutes or so trying to figure out if we were going in the right direction since the arrows indicating one-way were only at the end of the aisles. We did see a few rebels roaming about but we're sticklers so we stuck to the direction rules. This resulted in a lot of backtracking. I was concerned the shopping police would accuse us of the now outlawed "browsing" and kick us out before we finished. If I can't purchase my Dr. Pepper there would definitely be h e double hockey sticks to pay.
After another half hour, we found a short check out line, loaded the groceries onto the conveyor belt and proceeded to go into sticker shock. When did a small buggy of groceries equal the gross national product of Liechtenstein? No wonder they put a bank right in the store. I was afraid we'd need a loan to leave.
Exhausted from our first quest to the big box store in weeks, we loaded everything into the trunk and headed home, secure in the knowledge that as soon as we get home, I'll remember several items I needed but not desperately enough to venture back anytime soon.
If you ever catch me in one of the big box stores wearing drawstring pants, a t-shirt, and no bra, grab the butterfly net because that means I've lost all my remaining marbles.
Pandemic, smandemic – let the good times roll.