It's a relief to know we can celebrate Father's Day this year without the guilt police on our backs, telling us not to congregate in groups of more than 10 during the pandemic. Why was 10 such a magic number? If 11 showed up, what did the 'experts' thing would happen? Would we all disappear or something?
Anyway, Father's Day 2021 should be back to normal in our household and by that I mean nothing has changed in the 46 years since David became a father and a grandfather. The kids and grandkids come over and we have a good time.
Let me compare Father's Day and Mother's Day in the Harris household.
Mother's Day starts with church then we all meet at the local Mexican Food Restaurant since it's one of only two restaurants in town large enough to hold our immediate family without prior reservations and a large deposit. We are 18 not counting any extended family members living close by so we can't go just anywhere. At least I don't have to do any clean up afterwards.
Father's Day starts with church then everyone comes to our home where food is grilled, the kids play in the backyard and the adults try to stay out of the sun. If I play my cards right, the kids take care of the clean up.
Mother's Day: I get handed a card from each of my kids' families and maybe a small gift such as a new handy dandy small appliance that will take up space in my cabinet forever since I'll never get rid of it.
Father's Day: David gets new golf balls or other golf paraphernalia. (I guess they forget I golf too.)
You get the picture. Not that I'm complaining (well maybe just a little bit). I love anything they give me. At least they remembered who spent nine months unable to see her feet.
But I digress.
This time of year gets me nostalgic for when our parents were still here. I do miss them even though I don't remember being a very good gift giver in my younger years.
Our father has been gone for quite a few years now. I don't know how many times I'll see or hear something, reach for the phone, and remember that I can't call him anymore. I wish I'd listened more and asked more questions. I realize now how little I knew about him on a personal level. What did he like to do as a kid? What jobs did he have? What did he do in the Army? How did he and mom meet? Where did they go on dates? These are questions I'll never have the answers to.
So what are fathers? Fathers are more than just someone there in the beginning. A father is much more. He stays around to make sure the child is nurtured and cared for
Ȧ father stays up and worries, right along with mama, when their child has a fever and has been throwing up all night. He walks the floor to soothe the child so mama can get some rest.
A father will take his child out to toss a ball or shoot hoops even when he's dead tired from working all day.
A father cheerfully hosts his child's friends for a sleepover when he'd rather sleep in himself. He'll cook what they want to eat when he'd rather be ordering out.
A father has to have a tongue he can hold without biting through when he doesn't approve of his child's friends, especially the ones who want to date his, knowing that this, too, shall pass.
A father has to have the strength to say no to someone he'd move heaven and earth for, even though he really wants to say yes just to see them smile.
A father cares enough to explain why bullying, stealing, or lying is wrong.
A father takes the time to read, snuggle, and watch Paw Patrol for the thousandth time because that's what his child wants.
A father sets an example for his children on how to treat others, from the waitress to the doctor. They are all the same; people making a living.
A father treats his child's mother with the respect and love she deserves knowing that the children are watching and will someday emulate his behavior.
So, this Father's Day, if your father is still living, give him a call or visit. Then ask questions and listen, really listen, because someday, he'll be gone and you'll wish you could pick up the phone to hear his voice and get his advice or go to his house and be with him.
Happy Father's Day to all you dads out there. You deserve it.