Where, oh where has my mem-o-ry gone?
Where, oh where can it be?
With its attention span short
And its hurt feelings long,
Where, oh where can it be?
(Admit it. You sang it to "Where, Oh Where, Can My Little Dog Be?” Har! Har!)
I wish I had the same memory I had in high school, although some things are better left unremembered. Acne and the social awkwardness it can bring comes to mind. I know some of you rocked high school and would go back in a heartbeat. Not me. Maybe I would if I could take all my knowledge and life experience with me as a time traveler, but probably not.
Anyway, back to the subject at hand. (See? A classic example of my memory glitches is my inability to stay on point.)
I do want to brag a little bit about a very special talent I have recently discovered. I don't know if I'm the only one who has this ability but I can forget what I'm thinking about WHILE I'm thinking about it. I'm not kidding. I'll be doing some mindless task, an idea for a column will pop into my head, I'll write it out in my head, someone will speak to me and poof before I can write it down, it's gone. I just know it would have been an amusing subject involving adventures with the grandkids. If it weren't for my phone, we'd never make it anywhere we're supposed to be. If it's not on my phone's calendar, it's not happening for the Harrises.
I really think part of the reason for my vanishing memory is the fact that the older I get the more disorganized I get. I can never remember where anything is unless it's something I use daily but not always if David or the grandkids 'helped' by putting anything away. I can spend a week playing 'hide and seek' with my small kitchen appliances, utensils, etc. I'm still looking for a couple of my ceramic bowls after David 'helped' me a few months ago by adding some extra storage for me in the garage.
For another example take my craft closet. Please. (Just kidding. You wouldn't want it.) I will drag everything out, paw through it and end up spending the rest of the day looking at all the projects, fabric, quilting paraphernalia, etc., I'd forgotten I own. Overwhelmed at the thought of making any sense of order, and exhausted, I usually end up tossing it all back in the closet with the promise to organize it next time I lose my mind.
One day, several months ago, I heard about a woman who said organizing was easy. How delusional is she? All you need to do, she says, is go through everything, pick it up, fondle (maybe that wasn't the exact word she used but that's what I got out of it) each item and if it doesn't give you joy, get rid of it. If David caught me fondling the junk in my craft closet, he'd put me in a home. I can't do that anyway. If I waited for every inanimate object in my house to give me joy, I'd be sitting in an empty house. I don't get 'joy' out of stuff unless ice cream and chocolate syrup are involved. Ha! Ha!
Oops! Sidetracked again. But I'm just as bad in the kitchen. Although I've gotten to the time in my life where cooking does not fill me with joy, I do like to eat. Making the same old recipes that I prepared when the kids were home has gotten boring so once in a while I'll stumble upon a recipe that David and I both like. It has to be simple without a lot of ingredients and minimum fuss. So the other day I decided to try out a recipe for oven-baked chicken breasts as I was getting tired of hamburger meat and wouldn't you just know we both loved it. I promptly lost the recipe and haven't been able to duplicate it since. I have a few hundred cookbooks in my special cookbook cabinet but do I find a recipe in one of those? No! I find one on the internet never to see it again. Ssssshhhh! Don't tell my
Ssssshhhh! Don't tell my family but I've been known to use my bad memory to get out of things I don't want to do. Sometimes I use David's poor memory and hearing against him. If he doesn't remember something I've told him I let him know I most assuredly did. When it's to my advantage, I'll insist I did tell him something, even if I didn't.
In the meantime, if I ever find my memory again, I'll let y'all know but don't count on it.