In my first few columns, hesitant to use their real names, I made up names for family members which seemed to upset my husband. So I said, 'You asked for it.' I hope he remembers this was his idea. Our kids have never read a single column so I can write anything and they'll never know.
I give my husband a hard time but if not for him, our house would fall down around my ears and my car would cease to run. My full knowledge of car maintenance is how to put gas in the tank and air in the tires.
David takes care of things I'd never even think to do such as changing the air filters. For years I didn't even know the house had air filters. I just knew you turned the thermostat up and down depending on the season. He's also tall enough to change all the light bulbs without a ladder.
Take the time our thermostat quit – in the dead of winter! David was not home so I called the company and the guy on the other end of the line told me how to 'fix' it. I wasn't sure he wasn't pulling my leg, but, since I and our two dogs were freezing, I gave it a try. Here's a condensed version of our conversation: Bob: 'Hello, this is Bob. Thank you for calling XYZ Thermostat Company. May I have your first name?
Me: 'Debi.' Bob: 'Well, Debi, may I call you Debi, how may I help you today?'
Me: 'Sure. My thermostat has up and died on me. It's freezing here' Bob: 'Where are you located?'
Me: 'Oklahoma.' Bob: 'How's the weather there?'
Me: 'COLD.' Bob: 'Sorry to hear that, Debi. Hang on while I consult my supervisor on how we can best help you. May I put you on hold for a minute?
Me: 'Sure.' Bob: 'Hey, Jack, I've got a live one on the other end. Her thermostat quit. What should we tell her?'
Jack: 'Tell her to rub her feet on the carpet and touch it to shock it back.'
Bob: 'Nah, I'll tell her the old wire hanger gag. Wanna bet she falls for it?'
Bob tells me (I swear I'm not making this up) to take a metal clothes hanger, untwist it, touch the carpet with one end and the thermostat with the other. That should take the static electricity out and it'll start working again, he said.
I tried it. Don't judge, I was freezing. It didn't work.
Bob sent a new thermostat free of charge which, believe it or not, I was able to install myself.
The next thing to quit was the refrigerator. I called a repairman who opened the door, declared the 'whatchamacallit' (my word, not his) dead, and offered to take the useless fridge off my hands for a generous $50. The next repairman unplugged the ice maker and viola, the refrigerator worked a few more years. Thank goodness David's retired now.