I know a lot of people are thinking about vacation and heading to the beaches.
As a native Floridian – maybe the last one in captivity – let me point out some drawbacks to that plan.
First off, the sugar white sands get to 11,000 degrees Fahrenheit about 8:30 a.m. And there isn’t much worse than having that kind of heat on sunburned feet. Let’s talk about those sunburned feet. Nobody ever warns about putting sunscreen on the tops of feet. You must, especially if you go to someplace with sugar white sands because the reflection off the sand sunburns places you never imagined. Sunburned feet are the worst.
Unless it is the sunburned rest of you. On those beaches, slathered in SPF 50, I have sunburned like crazy. That’s no good. It hurts and there are long term consequences.
Then there is the water. When the air is really, really, hot, the water is hot, too. And it gets slimy and full of seaweed beds. Yuck. And then there are the jellyfish. That is a painful and serious sting. It can be mitigated, but the time in between when you are dealing with a crying child or whining adult can feel like a lifetime.
Remember that sugar white sand? It gets into everything. Sunscreen, drinks, sandwiches, eyes, ears and mouths. Not to mention the unmentionable nooks and crannies that aren’t really protected much by shorts or bathing suits.
Nighttime is a little better, but not a lot. I well remember going down to a darkened beach to watch for the sea turtles coming in to lay their eggs. During that nesting season, houses and apartments along the beach must use light blocking window coverings so as not to disorient the turtles, and sound must be kept to a minimum.
We went down to the beach, kids in tow. The youngest was four at the time and happily plopped down on the cooled sand near the water’s edge to wait patiently and quietly.
Until a ghost crab ran up her shorts leg and she let out a scream that would wake the dead. It probably ran off every sea turtle for 200 miles and the cops were showing up around the time we made the parking lot.
So, the beaches may not be the best vacation destination.
Forget about the mountains, too. The traffic, congestion and prices are enough to push that from relaxing to frazzled in a hurry. You don’t know what fun is until you have been trapped in a ‘bear jam’ – traffic stopped so the occupants of all the vehicles can see a passing bear – for 45 minutes with a carload of antsy kids.
Try instead someplace where there is a minimum of traffic, the heat isn’t killer and neither are the costs. Maybe a lake shore in the middle of Kansas. How does that sound? No? Well, maybe next year then …