Y'all probably remember reading recently about all the changes David and I have been making in the Harris household; changes that are completely out of character for us and by us, I mean me. David makes me take care of any task that requires talking to people on the telephone which I hate. He uses the excuse that since he's hard of hearing he can't understand the person on the other end of the line even if I punch the speaker button on his iPhone. He won't be able to use that excuse much longer. A couple of weeks ago I made an appointment for him to get his hearing checked (again). His current hearing aid is 11 years old, and he's probably used it a total of maybe six months (not consecutively) since he's owned it.
Anyway, the audiologist agreed that he was indeed hard of hearing and sold him a new hearing aid that can be controlled with his iPhone. This should be interesting. He's not too keen when it comes to making phone calls and he absolutely does not text so we'll see how it goes. Unfortunately, the audiologist informed us that it'd take six weeks to get his new hearing aid, so I guess he'll be able to slide by for a few more weeks.
But I digress as usual. (I have the attention span of a starfish dontcha know?)
The point I was trying to make before I got off on David's hearing challenges was that one of the changes, we're working on right now is a new alarm system. The one we have now worked quite well and has for many years mainly because it was installed by professionals who know what the heck they're doing. The problem is they've gotten a little too proud of their work. Almost $80 a month is getting to be a bit too much, so David and I scoured the Internet and came up with a company that is almost a third of our current monthly price. The downside is we have to install it ourselves.
David and I are semicompetent when it comes to technology but luckily for us the companies that make this stuff and write the manuals are used to smart people who turn into people with the comprehension of a toddler when it comes to tackling do-it-yourself projects.
David unpacked all the components while I read the manual. If you've ever watched a slap-stick comedy, you'll get a picture of how our endeavors went.
Step one: Read the guide! Step two: Download the app on my iPhone.
Step three: Argue about where to set the base unit.
Step four: Plug in the base and get the bejesus scared out of me when it talks.
Step five: Attempt to install the new keypad near the current keypad.
Step six: Stop step five when we find out we need to sync the door sensors to the keypad. Discover that our fancy trim around the doors won't hold the sensors. Take an electric saw and cut a notch out of the door frame to hold half the door sensors. Attach the other halves to the doors.
Step seven: Repeat step five.
Step eight: Discuss animatedly as to where to install the motion sensor.
Step nine: Throw the motion sensor on the fireplace mantel until we can agree where to install it.
Step 10: I give up and let David decide where to install smoke and CO detectors.
Step 11: Place inside the camera on the fireplace mantel. Worry it will be watching us all the time.
Step 12: Call the company and find out how to work the camera so it doesn't watch us while we're at home.
Step 13: David fetches the ladder to install the outdoor camera.
Step 14: I finally read the installation instructions for the outdoor camera.
Step 15: David retrieves the outdoor camera so I can program it.
Step 16: David puts the camera back.
Step 17: We (When I say 'we' I mean I) don't like the picture so he goes back up the ladder to adjust.
Step 18: Call the company to find out why the new alarm makes no noise when we purposely try to trip it.
Step 19: Call company again to find out why the indoor camera has a highpitched squeal. By now I have them on speed dial.
Step 20: Give up, set the old alarm, and go to bed.
Step 21: Get up with the hope that the whole system has magically fixed itself in the night.
Step 22: Call the company– again.
If anyone hears our alarm going off don't pay any attention to it. David and I are ignoring it and regretting we didn't buy a system that would be professionally installed. LOL