Baking in the Summertime

I'm "Baking in the Summertime" in more ways than one.

It's already 98 degrees with almost no Oklahoma breeze to keep me from passing out from the relentless sun blazing away in the early afternoon. Our local weather-teen says it's going to be HOT, HOT, HOT for several days so I guess I'll be hibernating in my living room for the next few days – or weeks. I HATE hot weather. Why, oh, why couldn't I have been a southern gal born in a northern climate? Where's the cold and snow I've heard has been going on in the northwest part of the United States? It's not fair to us fat gals who can't take the heat. Any temperature over 70° is not my idea of weather fit for humans or pets. Now I know there are some of you out there who love the hot weather so please don't get mad. (You're Crazy!) I do not happen to be one of them.

As I sit here on my back patio, the outdoor air conditioner on full blast, I realize that even the birds have disappeared. Maybe they have found a cool place to wait out the heat then make nuisances of themselves this evening. My patio is not their bathroom, dang it! Anyway, I'm taking this time to do what I do best – procrastinate. From what, you ask? Well, I'll tell ya.

Today begins our family's busy season of birthdays plus Father's Day and the 4th of July. We have no less than SEVEN birthdays between now and then and guess who gets to bake all the birthday cakes? Moi, that's who.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy making special treats on these days, but sometimes they tend to pile up faster than the Interstate at rush hour. The little ones have are getting old enough to put in their requests for what kind of cake decoration they want. The more complicated the theme, the more they gravitate toward it.

In the past, I've had to handmake cake toppers resembling famous talking cars and superheroes. Now, being the resident cake baker with a reputation to uphold, I can't just run to the local big box store and buy one, can I? Seriously, I'm asking, can I? No, I guess not. That would never do.

Luckily, I've managed to find a few shortcuts to get the job done without driving myself crazy. The easiest way to recreate the object of their desire is to download a coloring picture and a color copy then recreate it on the cake using frosting and ta-da! I have a cake topper that looks almost like the real deal.

(Note to self: Remember to reverse the photo first. I ended up having the numbers backward on the talking card but the birthday boy didn't notice.)

I also have to bake cakes for a couple of "middle-aged" kids. (Sshhh, don't tell them I said that. They'd never forgive me for letting anyone know how old they're getting. Ha Ha! On second thought, maybe it's my age that's showing. Ignore that last bit.) At least they're a little easier. One gets an Angel Food cake every year, and the other one doesn't like cake too much but loves cheesecake. Did I mention that everything has to be homemade by me?

So I'll spend the next few days making special treats for each family member, which I'll decide is not worthy of serving, but have to serve anyway since I don't have time to start over. I worry I've done something wrong and everyone will get sick. How that could happen, I don't know. What can I say? I'm a born worrier. I've not had a complaint yet, (they wouldn't dare) but still I'm never completely satisfied.

So far, in the last two days, I've baked two dozen cupcakes, two angel food cakes, one sheet cake, two cheesecakes, and only burned myself once. I also managed to hit the speed lever on the mixer just as I picked up the beaters and sent cake batter flying across the kitchen. I washed the dishes and dropped a clean glass bowl. Slippery little suckers, they are. I never seem to drop the dirty ones. No one had better go barefoot in my house for a few days. It'll take me that long to find all the shards.

That's a lot of baking, and I'm not even done! I still have to bake two dozen more cupcakes, and then decorate it all. The sheet cake and half the cupcakes have to be superhero-themed.

Hopefully, I'll make it through this birthday season with my sanity intact. I hope my diet stays intact as well since I have to taste everything. That's my excuse anyway.