I don't want to adult anymore. I don't want to adult anymore. I don't want to adult anymore. This has been my new mantra for the last few weeks.
When you're a teenager and think you have all the answers I have a sad fact for you youngsters– you don't know anything. When we're young no one tells us that adulting is such a drag. No one tells us we'll have to decide what to eat three times a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year. It doesn't help when two people come together and neither can ever make the simplest decision.
Can two indecisive people marry and live happily ever after? The jury's still out on that one. In all of our 49 plus years, we have yet to learn to make the same decision at the same time. I've always felt we're perpetually out of sync. It seems like we're never in the mood for the same thing at the same time.
For example, I'll say to David, "What do you want to eat?" David answers, "I don't care. What do you want?" "If I knew that, I wouldn't have asked you," I say.
"We can go get something to fix here or just go out."
"Well, that narrows it down, doesn't it? Can you give me a little hint? Animal, vegetable, or mineral?" I snap as I grab the car keys.
"Where are you going?" he asks.
"Depends on what you want then I'll go there. What do you want?"
"What do you want?" This can go on for an hour or more before I (a) get so hungry I'd eat the wallpaper at this point or (b) I lose my mind. When this happens, he usually gets oatmeal or rice for supper. That'd fix him good if it weren't for the fact that he likes that stuff. I just can't win.
In my next life, I think I'd like to come back as a cat. They're regal, haughty, and rule the roost. They get to lie around all day, occasionally rousing up enough to lick themselves before napping again. If their people think they're getting too lazy, they can catch a mouse once in a while just to keep things interesting. And best of all– they never, ever have to decide what to eat. If they don't like what's served, they just turn their noses up and walk away like a runway model and wait while their people go nuts trying to find just the right food to serve. Even better is the fact that they never have to cook, clean, do laundry or take baths. What could be better?
On a completely different subject of adulting, by the time you read this, we will have had an election for several state and local offices. I seriously have absolutely no interest in politics or politicians but feel like a very bad citizen if I don't go vote. There's too much homework involved.
Before going to the polls, I decided I'd better get familiar with what was on the ballot so I wouldn't be surprised when I entered my polling place which, after 19 years, was moved several miles from the last location. I have yet to understand why they do these things. It's not even the closest place to our house!
Anyway, nothing is more embarrassing than having the ballot in your hand and being totally baffled as to how to cast your vote.
I googled where to find a sample ballot for my area and printed it off. I knew right then I was in BIG trouble as I was familiar with only a handful of the 47 names on the ballot. Everyone was walking up, voting, grabbing their "I Voted" sticker, and waltzing out the door while I was still trying to decide between "Eeny, meany, miney, moe" or if I should just flip a coin as a means to making a decision.
I had been throwing away all the political 'postcards' that were coming in the mail without reading any of their propaganda and I don't watch commercials, especially political ones where they spend all their allotted time knocking each other instead of listing their accomplishments and goals. The Sunday before the election our local newspaper printed a few of the candidates' bios emphasizing their best points.
Unfortunately, they only listed about 2/3 of those listed on the sample ballot and it didn't help that much.
So now what in the heck was I supposed to do? I decided flipping a coin wasn't an option, especially when one category had 13 names! And this is just one party. I wonder how many there are on the other ballot.