I am spending way too much time on the phone with my new tech (non) support person, trying to figure out my new car's technology. I have spent countless hours, trying to make all these dadgum newfangled geegaws work.
I've admitted in the past that I'm technologically challenged, and I haven't gotten much better, but I keep trying.
David and I recently purchased a new car equipped with all the bells and whistles. I'm not sure which one will be the death of me first . . . The bells or the whistles. I'm not even sure what these bells and whistles are, but the salesman assured us we'd love them. The jury's still out on that.
I attempted to read the owner's manual to learn how our car works but since no one spends time reading one anymore it was reduced to a couple of hundred pages, most of which were dedicated to how to properly install a car seat. I was forced to use a very popular website that has videos of just about everything. It would be so much faster for me to look it up in the car's manual.
I think car manufacturers purposely make things complicated to see who can drive (no pun intended) consumers nuts the fastest and so far our car's manufacturer is winning.
I've found from experience that if I don't figure out and use all the new features on any gadget (cars included) within the first few weeks, I never will. I still have buttons on my washing machine I've never used. But that's another story.
This particular car 'syncs' or 'talks' to my smartphone so I spent two weeks, sitting in my car, trying to set up an app on my phone and car that is supposed to allow me to control specific functions of the car from my phone. This includes locking, unlocking and remotely starting my car from wherever I happen to be when I remember I can do it. With this new car, I can drive it without having a key with me! Can you believe that? What if I'm in an area where there's no signal? Will it still start? That's really not a chance I'm willing to take if I'm leaving town. By the way, one of the tips I gleaned was: The car MUST be running! But not driven! This is very important! You can tell the manufacturer is serious by all the exclamation points!
Who doesn't LOVE making a dozen phone calls to a dozen tech (non) support persons whose sole purpose in life seems to be “who can keep me on the phone the longest.” There is a favorite game amongst tech persons I've aptly named 'Pass the Smuck.' The object of this game is to get me to either (a) hang up in frustration, in which case the last tech on the line wins the money in the pot, (b) go mad and refuse to hang up, determined as I am to win the passing game (which will never happen) or (c) the tech terminates the call since it's quitting time. At no time are they allowed to solve whatever issue you've called about in the first place. This could result in immediate termination and the returning of any pots the tech may have collected over the last month.
I sat in my car for hours, trying to get something, anything to work. David found me, with my head on the steering wheel, mumbling, “But, I've done that already!”
The techs know they have me hooked now, so their suggestions were getting ever more creative. One suggested I swing a dead chicken over my head while chanting words I can't print here. I could hear the techs laughing hysterically. Those tech persons are such cards.
Here's another game tech (non) support uses to drive (again, no pun intended) us insane which I call “Business Hours Roulette.” It seems like the phone lines are available for only a few short hours a day. In order to play the caller must figure out which day and what hours they'll answer without being put on hold and forced to listen to an endless loop of Muzak.
If I can manage to hang on, without losing my sanity, I'll be rewarded with another chance to play 'Pass the Smuck,' the bonus round, where the fun starts all over again.
I've become quite close with a few of the techs these last two weeks, and I've learned a couple of things – most of them are helpful, patient and they don't know how to work any of this stuff either, so it may take me another week to figure it out.
At my age, I'm not sure I have that kind of time.