I was talking to a friend recently and I had an epiphany – I have perfected the art of tuning out anytime there's something I desperately want to pretend isn't happening.
My friend lives in another part of the state close to where David and I used to reside, so we've known each other for a very long time. We speak on the phone on a semi-regular basis, and she usually ends the conversation with the suggestion that I find out if anything interesting going on in my neck of the woods that they might like to attend.
She should know me by now and know that the likelihood of me knowing what's going on around here is slim to non-existent. I don't know what it is about me, but I just can't seem to keep up with what's happening in my town let alone the state. She's said many times she and her husband are willing to drive several miles and meet up with us if we can just let them know a few weeks in advance so they can make plans to have someone take care of their farm chores. I can't even plan what's going to happen a week in advance let alone a few weeks out.
I seem to have developed commitment-phobia in my dotage. If I do happen to stumble across something interesting, it always seems to be scheduled months in advance. I just can't make myself buy tickets to an event that's happening more than a couple of weeks away. At my age, I don't even like to buy anything with an expiration date of more than two weeks out.
For example, a few days ago I saw an advertisement for the local philharmonic orchestra's performance. I love that kind of music, so I clicked on the link to check it out. I studied the seating chart and ticket prices. Can someone explain why the tickets ranged from $10 to $50 depending on how close the seat was to the stage? I can understand that if you're watching your favorite band or a play but an orchestra? Would there be any bad seats at an orchestral concert? I went as far as selecting the closest seats and that's as far as I got. When I found out that the performance wouldn't be held until the first of next year I backed out. As George Burns once stated, 'At my age, I no longer buy green bananas.' This was definitely a green banana situation.
What if one of us got sick? What if we got snowed in on the day of the concert? (That's not likely to happen where we live but why take chances?) What if our children have an emergency and they need us to babysit? What if our dog gets sick and needs to be rushed to the animal hospital? I can go on like this all day.
Last week, I found a craft and antique show I'd like to attend and noted it on my calendar. I made the mistake of clicking 'interested' on their social media page and now I get reminded every day that if I buy tickets NOW, I can save money. I can't. I just can't. What if our car broke down on the day of the event? Or we got four flat tires? Or one of us gets sick? Or a tornado breaks out that day?
What was I supposed to be writing about? Oh, yeah. Tuning out. My point is we watch the local news two or three times a day so you'd think I'd know when something fun is happening in our area, wouldn't you? I would if I weren't so busy tuning them out. I just can't handle all the doom and gloom the newscasters seem to concentrate on. The only part I try to pay attention to is the local sports and weather. I always add several degrees to the temperatures and subtract the amount of rain they are predicting. If they say the day will be mild and overcast, I break out the sunscreen and wide-brimmed hat. If they say a flood's a comin' I know it's safe to go outside and enjoy the day.
As far as the national news is concerned, fuhgeddaboudit! They are the reason I perfected my ability to tune out any bad news. Maybe that's why the people who produce the news have started announcing, with loud, crescendo-ing music, when they are about to bring us some feel-good stories. I've gotten so used to tuning them out that it's just background noise to me these days.
If you try hard you, too, can learn the 'Art of Tuning Out.' Now, excuse me, please. I think David was saying something. I can see his lips moving.