I kid you not. I am not making any of this up!
While searching for the channel airing our favorite softball team we encountered a couple of your more bizarre sporting events. And I use the terms 'sporting' and 'event' lightly with an emphasis on bizarre. The (real sports) game (softball) we sought ended up being delayed several hours due to storms and lightning in the area so what's a sports-minded person supposed to do to fill the hours on a Saturday afternoon? Check out these new 'sports'.
The first one, which I will admit I didn't watch because we had a couple of grandsons staying over but I wished I had, was–get this–a cornhole tournament. I'm serious. The sports channel was airing a cornhole competition courtesy of the American Cornhole League. I guess when you have umpteen channels running 24/7 it gets a little hard to fill the time.
During my 'research,' I found more than I cared to know about competing by throwing a sachettype bag through a hole cut out of a slanted 4'x2' board. Did you know that cornhole bags used by professionals are 6'x6' and weigh one pound? They can be filled with corn or resin and be made of suede for slower slides or polyester for faster slides. Regulation bags range from $90 to $165! Who knew? Or wanted to? My whole experience with cornhole, which was called bean bag toss when I was growing up, came from the sports aisle of the local toy store.
The 'sport' that cracked me up the most this weekend was the Pillow Fight Championship! You can't make this stuff up. It was invented in 2021 during the pandemic when close contact of any kind was discouraged. What better way to get out your aggression of being told by the government what you can and cannot do than hit each other with special 'pillows'? The pillows are equipped with durable handles and ripstop nylon enabling swift and forceful movements that generate a distinctive sound upon impact. The official pillows of the PFL can be found at a popular online store for a paltry $90! Each bout is held in a ring that looks like a boxing arena but lasts a heart-stopping 90 seconds! No, that's not a typo. Mixed martial artists and boxers are introduced just like a boxing match MC (or whatever the announcer in the ring is called) lets everyone know the height, weight, and hometown of the participant. Some came from as far away as Brazil to compete for a $5,000 paycheck.
What's next? Maybe a hopscotch race? Competitive Jacks? How about Hide N Seek? That one could be a real hoot. The cameras could be mounted overhead so the viewing audience could see what the contestants couldn't. Or maybe combine it with paintball for an added level of excitement. The possibilities of inane 'sports' could be endless, doncha think?