One day, about 10–or maybe it was 15–years ago (Who can remember that far back?), David and I were in the big box store of furniture in Oklahoma City browsing for who knows what but, let me tell you, it was a great way to exercise. One can easily get in 10,000 steps just trying to avoid the salespersons. Why does it seem like they stick to you like superglue until you find something you're interested in? By then they have assumed you are a looky-loo and have beat it on to the next suck...potential customer. As I said, I can't remember that far back. Most of the time I can't remember last week, but that's beside the point.
What was my point? Oh, yeah. While we were browsing around in the ridiculously large building filled with miles and miles of overpriced goods we managed to wander into the 'As Is' department. It was filled with discounted furniture that matches nothing else; furniture that's been dropped so the bosses knocked off a small percentage for a gash the size of a baby's head they swear no one will notice, or a set of chairs with the fourth one broken or missing. While we were moseying around, I spotted something I'd always wanted–a roll-top desk. I ran to it before anyone else could call dibs.
Fantasies of me sitting down to write the 'Great American Novel' came rushing in as I ran my hand over the small nick on the backside. As I visualized where it would go in the house, I knew the nick would never be seen so I stood next to it, just in case someone else walked by and spotted this bargain, while I waited for David to catch up. I had circled the room a couple of times before he walked around once. I didn't dare leave my post for fear someone else would snatch up such a great buy and I'd never be able to write that novel. (I heard that.)
I finally managed to snare a salesperson, had him add it to the furniture we'd already picked out (whatever that was) and I was a happy camper.
I couldn't wait to get my new desk into the front bedroom. I'd finally begin that writing career I'd always envisioned. We've never used this room as a bedroom since it has wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling windows and I couldn't imagine anyone being able to sleep in there so when we moved in, I declared it would be used strictly as an office. Before I knew it, it had morphed into a craft room with sewing machines and fabric everywhere, but that's another story.
Anyway, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, 'But Debi, you can write anywhere. What's so special about this desk?' Well, I'll tell ya. Our first and only computer (at the time) was a big old giant desktop with a monitor the size of a small television and a big old box the size of a small refrigerator that I'm told ran the whole shebang. We placed it on a large computer desk with a wood and glass top so one could place the keyboard beneath the desk. The keyboard could be raised but I didn't like that, so it stayed on top where it belonged. Now that the giant computer and monitor have been retired and we both own laptops, the new desk is perfect.
Atmosphere is everything to me and I just knew the desk would spark inspiration. I've watched too many old movies and the writers always seem to have a cool place to write, but the best ones have a roll-top desk. I just knew I'd be a lot more productive in the right setting.
With the roll-top in place and my laptop resting on top, it officially felt like a novel writer's dream. I loved all the little nooks and crannies where I envisioned I'd be placing note cards with lots of subject ideas. I bought a Dave Barry calendar with daily quotes for inspiration.
I sat at my desk waiting for the ideas to start flowing. I waited and watched the little blinking icon on the blank page for what seemed like hours. (It was probably more like 10 minutes.) That is when I realized I don't have the attention span to write a whole book and started exploring the idea of a column. I searched out a few columnists I liked, counted how many words they averaged and decided that is what I'd shoot for. After I started, I realized I should have looked for columnists with shorter attention spans but it seems to be working out okay for now. Maybe someday I'll write the “Great American Novel.” But probably not.