Hi, I'm Debi and I have a serious internet shopping addiction. In my office, I have a large box filled with items I impulsively ordered at Christmastime but didn't have a clue who to give them to. Since I forgot about them until I 'discovered' them while cleaning my office recently I can only hope I'll be able to remember I have them the next time an appropriate occasion comes around, but we all know I won't. Chemo brain is no joke. The fact that I haven't had a good memory since menopause is irrelevant. Ha! Ha!
Anyway, someone needs to put a lock (or a Dr. Pepper breathalyzer) on my laptop. It's way too hot outside and everyone within earshot is well aware of the fact that I cannot handle any temperature over 75º. The best way I can describe our weather right now is "The Blast Furnace from H-e Double Hockey Sticks" only much hotter. It'd make an excellent horror movie premise. Please, please, do not let it be a repeat of 2011 when we had three MONTHS of this unbearable heat.
The only way I can deal with this horrible weather is by staying indoors. One can watch only so much television before one loses one's mind–what little I have left anyway. To compensate, I have found myself turning to the Internet way too much to keep me occupied. I haven't broken down yet and started ordering my groceries online and picking them up in the parking lot or having them delivered but it's only a matter of time.
"Now Debi," y'all are saying, "If you don't want to watch television you could always clean house instead of turning to the internet."
"Bite your tongue," I say. I don't want y'all giving David any ideas. I don't harp on his golf habit, and he doesn't harp about my lack of interest in domestic engineering. Granted, I didn't mind so much and almost liked it when the kids were at home although cleaning house with kids at home is like brushing your teeth while eating cookies, but I did it anyway.
If it weren't for the fact that my internet purchases don't always come from the same delivery services or drivers, David might have long ago gotten the suspicion that something was going on between me and the driver.
Just in the past two months I've ordered the complete set of Columbo DVDs; a giant set of dice the kids and I can play with outdoors if I can think of any games that can be played with giant dice besides Yahtzee; two new sleep masks that make me feel like I'm being held hostage; a doggy rug that is supposedly made to catch all the dirt and mud our Yorkie will drag in; an outdoor bow and arrow set (I may regret this one); earrings for a grandniece's birthday; new shoes for David; new shoes for me I'm not sure I want to keep; toe socks for me (look it up); a mattress heating pad (just waiting for cold weather); an oscillating desk fan for my night sweats (which thankfully I no longer need); a rope belt just like his daddy's, and an OU dress shirt that our oldest grandson ruined the first time he wore it; a toy barn, toy tree house, and a toy van for one grandson, and spider cosplay launcher web shooters, a 16- piece action figures set, and a Spiderman costume that I ordered in the wrong size and had to reorder for another grandson. Unfortunately, the first Spiderman costume came from and the replacement one is coming on a very slow boat from China. I just hope it will still fit or he's still interested by the time it is delivered.
Then there was a Paw Patrol Transforming Control Center, Sonic the Hedgehog action figures, and a Paw Patrol metal jet rescue set for our youngest grandson. When you have about a dozen grandkids plus grandnieces and grandnephews, the delivery persons are here just about every day. Four of the grandsons' birthdays are within two weeks of each other, and that doesn't count our son, daughter-in-law, and son-in-law that are included in that time frame.
Maybe I should open up a shop in my office just for birthdays and let them come pick out what they want and leave me out of the mix. The girls are all grown up now. The youngest is 15 and will be driving soon so they are harder to buy for. I have decided that gift cards or cold hard cash are my friends when it comes to the teenagers.
My new mantra to keep me off the shopping sites is "I will not order anything today."
(I never said anything about tomorrow. LOL)