A new social media app launched this past week and I got to thinking how little I understand the machinations of how any of them work. When it comes to these constantly evolving or new apps, I'm not “Smarter Than A Fifth Grader.” (I know it's an old reference; so am I,) I've downloaded and subsequently deleted several of the latest apps to 'come down the pike'. It seemed too much trouble trying to figure them out. Could it be because I give up easily? Probably.
Most were downloaded because something popped up showing someone I know doing something but the truth is I suffer from FOMO*. Nothing's worse than listening to people talk about something they've seen on an app I don't have or know how to use. Let's put it this way–I'm hopeless.
Apps I've downloaded so far, and that's as far as I've ever gotten on most, include Parler, Instagram, MeWe, TikTok, Twitter, FreeSpace, Truth Social, Snap Chat, Facebook and the newest craze– Threads.
Right now, Facebook is the only one I understand. Although I have 419 'friends' listed, I'm down to probably four or five 'friends' who still bother with it. But I digress.
For the life of me, I cannot figure out how to use any of the other apps. I'm not interested in acquiring any new 'imaginary' friends; my old ones are crazy enough.
You can see why, after signing up for Instagram seven years ago, I haven't used it except to see what my family and friends have posted. That's how quick I am with social media. One post every seven years sounds about right, dontcha think?
I will watch Instagram to see the latest videos posted by friends and family. Can someone explain how I acquired 127 followers when I have posted ONE picture, seven years ago, of David, me, and a Christian lady comedian who was hilarious, enlightening, and inspiring? On the other hand, according to my Instagram page, I am following 229 people. How did it come up with that count? I didn't click on 229 different people's posts. It's a mystery to me.
Anyway, Threads looks like an app even a nontechie like me can use. Someone described it as a cross between Facebook and Twitter.
It's easy to sign up if you have an Instagram account. Lucky for me it doesn't require you ever having used it. Thread transfers all your account information and 'BAM' you're done. It looks like a social media app I may be able to use; almost as easy as using Facebook.
One app I don't think I'll ever get the hang of is Snapchat. I downloaded it when it first came out and I never used it so I deleted it. The other day I got a 'wild hair' and reloaded it. The only way I'd ever do a video on any social media apps would be if I could hold up a mask, a la Judy Jetson.
Those Jetsons had the right idea. I'd love a mask whenever the grands want to use FaceTime since I hate looking at myself on the phone (or in a mirror or anything that reflects).
I'd love a mask of my much younger self to hold in front of the phone. For videos, I'd probably need a life-size cutout that I could prop up, point my phone camera at and chat away. My younger head on Sofia Vergara's body. Why not?
But back to apps. Does anyone know of a group for clueless senior citizens that could teach me how to work the apps I have before any more new ones are launched? I'd ask my grandkids for help but I have a reputation of competence to uphold. What they don't know won't hurt me.