After 50-plus years of homemaking, I've become quite the collector, connoisseur some might call it, of many miscellany knick-knacks, tchotchkes, and gewgaws. Well, I call it a collection; my family would probably call me an extreme accumulator. Ha Ha!
It started out innocently enough. One of my aunts had a collection of decorative plates hanging all around her kitchen. It looked kind of neat and before long I was hooked. Whenever we went on vacation, I found myself scouring the souvenir store aisles looking for commemorative plates to get my fix. I was obsessed to the point of being first in line at garage sales where I'd usually procure a plate or two. (Those garage sales ladies can get quite snippy when one shows up at 6 a.m.) When my aunt passed, I was the lucky recipient of her collection. It never occurred to me at the time to ask why her children had not received this largesse, and before I knew it, my entire kitchen walls were no longer bare.
David put his foot down when the plates threatened to spill into the living room, so I switched to spoons. Family and friends got wind of my new obsession and before I knew it, I received a spoon every time one of them went out of town. I now have five spoon cabinets hanging in my kitchen which are threatening to take over any available wall space.
Collecting spoons got boring so I started collecting – drum roll, please – golf balls. When David and I ventured to a new course, I'd make a beeline for the pro shop. I now have two display cases in my office full of logo golf balls.
I started quilting and anyone who sews knows what happens next. I cannot enter a fabric store without coming out with at least a yard of new fabric whether I need any or not. The UFOs – unfinished objects - pile up faster than I can dispatch them.
A few years ago, I attended a demonstration on how to make my own clothes. Somehow, I got suckered into buying a plastic form to help me make better sleeves. I don't make clothes! I recently donated it to the local thrift store. Let them figure out what the heck it's for.
I also have a plethora of cookbooks stuffed into an old china cabinet. I used to tease my kids that one South American cookbook has a recipe for preparing and cooking 'kid'. They don't always appreciate my strange sense of humor.
I have cake decorating cookbooks I no longer utilize with the advent of the Internet, a couple of old Betty Crocker cookbooks, lots of dessert cookbooks and at least a dozen focusing on how to eat healthy and lose weight.
If my kids find out that I'm planning on leaving it all to them someday, they'll want to put me and my collections in a home for gimcrackery connoisseurs.